All ahead full, cap'n

Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

I've been thinking about that a little bit in the last few months as, to be honest, I thought a few of the things that were lining up against me were going to finish me off. I'll try and explain.

The situation at the last post...

Well, things were going alright, I suppose. I was finding study was getting on top of me a bit, which is I suppose not surprising. I was doing six units - CJR350, CMM26, CMM28, PSY210, PSY230 and VIS210 - and two modules - Novel 2B and Poetry 1B - and feeling very worn out by it all.

Then, it hit...

Something so devastating that it beggars belief hit me fair and square in my children. It devastated my wife - she did little but rage and cry for months. It completely changed the course of one of my daughter's life. I found myself the place of final buck-stoppage, so to speak, as my daughter divulged secretly to me on one side, and my wife lamenting and fuming to me on the other. I just couldn't think straight anymore, and study dropped out of my head.

The rest of August disappeared, and September and November, with appointments with all kinds of peoples and organisations, and study just fell in a hole. A big, deep hole. A big, deep, dark and scary hole.

At the start of December I found myself having twelve assignments for the six units to complete (even though they were supposed to be finishing), and over half a dozen assignments for the two modules (which were finishing in a couple of weeks). And on top of that, five more units were starting - CMM37, CMM38, EDU120, ENG210 and PAC30.

So, I got back to basics. I focussed on my general outlook. I focussed on my attitude, and compared it to the attitude I should have, according to the Bible. I studied how I felt about the people who had committed so hideous a crime against my daughter, and brought it into line with what the Bible tells me I should feel about them. I focussed on my goals for the future, and what is important to me. And I prayed, real hard. And then I worked!!!!!

It took me about four weeks to do the twelve plus seven assignments, which is better than I have ever done before. I also got all of the assignments due for the new study period for that same time, ammounting to over twenty assignments in five weeks, which is something I just praise the Lord for. I also put a lot of work into activities for church, and spent some good time with my wife and kids. And then I got to go away with my family for three weeks to the Grampians (before they were cindered) and near Geelong, and spend some time with some incredibly lovely people from my church. I've then come home, and got into and stayed into it.

The Lord has continued to bless. The other house is on the market and has just had an offer made for it. I got into the post-graduate course I had applied for, exactly as I wanted to. I have found some other courses that I will do to further my career. The local assembly has just sparked up, which is exciting. I've lost weight and my general health and well-being has improved. And other factors of my life have just been ticking along.

So, right now, things are looking up, and I have to praise the Lord for his graciousness in all these situations. I also have to relax, and learn that all of these things which come against me, if they don't kill me, they make me stronger. They make me better able to deal with disasters when they do come, and disasters do come. They help me focus on what really is important to me.

I've also been thinking about this passage from Isaiah a bit:

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the alter. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

So now, I find myself at the tail-end of my last lot of units for a little while with OUA. I've done 53, and failed none. In a few weeks I'll have completed the last units, and I'll then be able to send away my academic transcript to Griffith University for two bachelor degrees. I'll go to two graduation ceremonies this year; the first for a Diploma, and the second for two Bachelors. I start my post-graduate Bachelor in a few weeks, and a Masters in about five months. In the two years after that I will, while working, do a Bachelor Honours, and a Graduate Certificate. I'll then go on to do a PHD, if I can.

This year promises to be much, much easier than last year. I plan to work daily on V. from March onwards. I'm going to start entering competitions again later this month. I'm also reading more, which is great! I'll institute a regular exercise program for myself with the aim of it becoming habit, and thus further improve my general health and fitness and lose more weight. I'll spend some good time with my kids this year, and try to get away with my wife one weekend for a special thingo. And we'll also try and get the renovations done to this place done either later this year, or early next.

Well, that's the plan, and while plans do have a habit of going pear-shaped, at this moment, everything is pretty much full steam ahead, which is a real relief. It is really nice - and terribly satisfying - to have come out of a particularly difficult time and feel as if one is getting somewhere.

Thank you Lord. I truly am an amazingly blessed man.


PS. With everything that has happened, this blog became qu8ite dusty. However, I am aiming to start posting to it on a much more regular basis. This is the aim, but if I don't meet it, please don't be too harsh on me, dear reader...